Welcome to another posting of the mind of Me.
It is currently Late as hell and I cannot sleep. This is going to be one of those posts where I plan to open up because I cannot remember my past posts and the information I will be posting seems relevant to share and maybe it will help someone else who might see this post.
It is currently Midnight where I am and I cannot sleep. This type of problem has increased over the past year and a half for most of the world because of the Covin-19 pandemic.
Unfortunately, like millions of others in the world I suffer from Anxiety and Depression. It is not a fun combination at all. I have been lucky enough to have a therapist while dealing with my problems for several years now. In many countries, mental health issues are frowned upon and are ignored leading to many people committing suicide. I’m hoping that with this post that maybe, just maybe it will help someone else who has the same thoughts as me to get help before they think those negative thoughts.
I was laying here reading a new book I picked up called ” Walking with Ghosts”, a memoir by Gabriel Byrne (Walking with Ghosts by Gabriel Byrne | Goodreads). I chew through books, this being book number 5 in 3 days. At least I think it is book number 5 could be 6. Shrugs, I spent my day separating out my books. Mostly which ones I used for research versus books I read for entertainment which by the way, that’s a thin line.
So anyways, my phone goes off with an alert and I see all these people I know travelling, having kids, buying homes and getting married, while I can’t decide if I want to read a historical fiction about the Holocaust or a scifi/fantasy about Sherlock Holmes; Along with playing email tag for grad school possibilities including making sure my mini me is ready for the fall semester. And there it hit me, my depression. Everyone else is out doing things, having fun, partying, traveling and I’m debating on my next read.
I burst into tears because in some ways I began to feel like a huge failure. I am not where I thought I would be in my life. While I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE my books, I love my child: I thought that by now that I would not be where I am but in a better space. I could be in a worse one but I do not feel like I am where I should be. I absolutely love my kid and would do anything for them( I only have one but I feel like using this identifier for the moment).
But I feel like I am in a stuck moment in time where I am hoping that this is not just what my life is going to be about. Some of my friends are hard to talk to about these issues because they have their own lives and issues to deal with and bringing it up, sometimes I feel like I am a burden to them and it becomes better to bottle it all up.
Well some advice: It’s not okay to bottle it up. You need to talk to someone. I was lucky enough to reach out to a long time friend tonight for only a few minutes and it helped, but this is something I will be talking to my therapist about. Getting help for your depression, anxiety ( IE mental health) , is so important.
According to the ADAA( Anxiety & Depression Association of America) has a listing of numbers of how many people suffers from mental health disorders and those numbers are huge. PTSD has a number of over 7.7 million adults ( Not including children under the age of 18). I don’t even think that this includes all of the individuals who have seen wars/battles either. Panic disorders are over 6 millions and GAD( Generalized Anxiety Disorder) has over 6.8 million people. These numbers are only listing people in the United States and not world wide.
When it comes to GAD, ADAA, ( on the link I listed below) states that over 300 million people world wide suffers from GAD. In simple terms, it sucks, and you are not the only who probably suffers from it but guess what!? There is help for you out there if you are willing to get it and hold on tight to it.
this is one of my favorite pie charts.
Not even gonna lie, if you suffer from any of these, seek out help. I knew I needed therapy after a long term relationship bit the dust and after I literally broke down into tears in my PCP( Primary Care Physician) office because of a job I was working had me stressed out to the point I wanted to play Frogger in traffic to get out of work.(I am no longer with that job, thank god: never stay working for a job that makes you ever feel like that). And for those who have no idea what the hell Frogger is, the purpose of the game is to get a frog across traffic to his pond without getting run over. However in my case at the time , I wanted to get run over rather than go to my job. (This isn’t healthy and I have a whole nother rant about crappy jobs).
I have attached an image and a link if you would to try to play this game online. But back to the issue at hand.
If you are depressed, lonely, have an anxiety attack or just feel ” Blah” and yes “Blah” is a good term for when you are not feeling like “yourself”. Please Please Please , reach out, talk to someone about it. If you want to even email me at email@example.com I am not a mental health professional but I can be someone to be reached out to if you need someone else. Talk to your doctor, talk to a friend, Make the call. No one should ever make you feel less than you because you are reaching out for help.
Free Crisis Hotline Numbers
If you think you or someone you love may be struggling with a mental health disorder, call one of these numbers to learn more about various mental health conditions and connect with valuable resources near you.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
If mental health difficulties are leading you to consider suicide or think about death often, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s national network of local crisis centers. This 24-hour hotline is available to anyone in crisis and provides free and confidential emotional support and crisis intervention.
- Crisis Text Line: Text “home” to 741741
This unique hotline is available via text message to anyone experiencing mental health difficulties or an emotional crisis. Highly trained counselors offer support and guidance to calm you down and make sure you are safe.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) The NAMI Helpline is available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST to answer your general questions about mental health issues and treatment options. You can get information on mental health services in your area and learn how to help a loved one find treatment.
All of this information can be found on Mental Health Hotline | 24 Hour Mental Health & Illness Helpline (mentalhelp.net)